"Feel your emotions (there’s no other way through them) and talk to people like your other friends, your family, your partner or even a therapist. Rest. Cry". If it helps you, do cathartic things like listening to sad songs or watching trashy TV, Leaver advises.
Leaver tells me that in order for us to truly normalise friendship breakups we need to talk about them candidly when we go through them.
We talk so often about romantic and sexual relationships that fail, but we seldom talk about the very real — and often unbearable — pain that comes with a failed friendship.
Kate Leaver, author of The Friendship Cure, says she thinks it’s vital you give yourself permission to mourn the end of a friendship.
Leaver believes that we should talk about friendship breakups more often — which is why she included a chapter on them in her book.
"People I’ve spoken to in my research have said the end of a friendship felt much more personal and much more painful than a romantic breakup.
Psychologist Rachel Tomlinson says don’t be tempted to fill your diary with empty activities like arranging drinks every night of the week with every other friend you don’t currently miss.
Palmer says that she considers herself very adept at moving on from conflicts with people from her past — with the exception of this former friend.
"I think we deserve the same when a friendship ends," Leaver says.
Just four WhatsApp messages were enough to ring the death knell on my friendship with my best friend, a person who knew me inside out.
"We crave closure and our brains love a narrative, so try and figure out what went on between you and this estranged friend so you can at least neatly package it away or learn from it," she says.
Leaver says that this is one of the few opportunities people allow themselves to fully wallow in their emotions so that they can properly heal.
Leaver says that friendships end and that’s a natural, normal, and inevitable part of life.
Blogger Abbie Tanner tells me she’s had several friendship breakups that have been very distressing.
Being ashamed to talk about broken friendships could stem from the possibility "we’re frightened of vulnerability or don’t want to come across as unlovable," according to Leaver.